By: Elena Donatone
If there is a movie I could never get tired of watching over and over again, that is for sure The Perks Of Being A Wallflower (2012).
The highly acclaimed coming-of-age drama, written and directed by Stephen Chbosky, and based on the novel of the same name, follows the life of teenager Charlie (Logan Lerman) and the complicated relationships with the people in his life.
Charlie is about to start his first year of high school, but he is not very excited about it. He is a very shy and introverted kid, who spends most of his time by himself or with his family. As we find out at the start of the movie, he has clinical depression and it is hard for him to interact with other people.
Since it is his first year of high school, Charlie promises himself to make friends and participate more in activities.
As he gets to know step siblings Sam (Emma Watson) and Patrick (Ezra Miller), his life seems to get better. Especially when he starts falling for Sam.
“Welcome to the island of misfit toys”
But his complicated past and his mental state don’t make it easy for him to have a simple life and high school experience.
I believe The Perks Of Being A Wallflower is such a powerful movie to watch for many reasons.
The most important theme in the movie is surely love and how to tell the difference between healthy and toxic bonds.
When Charlie was a kid, as we find out in the movie, he was sexually abused by his late and mentally ill aunt and that had repercussion on him and his childhood.
While Charlie tries to live his life and explore his love for Sam, it is hard to ignore his insecurity and trauma.
Charlie loved his aunt very much and he always thinks about her and the good memories he had with her. Only at the end of the movie we find out she was abusive and that is what makes Charlie break down. Although he loved his aunt, what she did to him left a scar that he needs to live with for the rest of his life.
He learns that the pain will always be there, but he can hope for a better future with the help of his family and close friends.
“My doctor said we can’t choose where we come from, but we can choose where we go from there.”
While most movies depict love as an idyllic and perfect sentiment that will overwhelm your life, The Perks Of Being A Wallflower delivers a more realistic view on it. Love is not perfect and for most of us it is hard to find the words to express what we feel.
As Charlie falls in love with Sam, he is scared to tell her. He also witnesses her having a toxic and hurtful relationship with college student Craig (Reece Thompson). Charlie knows Craig is wrong for Sam, but he can’t find the courage to express his feelings until the end of the movie.
Charlie and Sam’s relationship is complicated and sweet at the same time.
And Sam is not an easy person to be with as well. While she is very caring and smart, she always falls for the wrong guys and she ends up getting hurt most of the time. That is mainly because of her lack of confidence. Sam doesn’t think she deserves better and that is why she has relationships with people that treat her badly.
Although she creates a sweet and healthy bond with Charlie in the end, most of us can relate to her experience. How many times did we settle for people that didn’t treat us right, only because we thought we didn’t deserve anything better?
“Why do I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we’re nothing?”
And that is similar to what happens to her step sibling Patrick. Patrick is a very powerful character and one of my favourites. Although he is always friendly and fun, his life is far from easy. He is openly gay, but he is in a relationship with Brad, a very popular boy from the same high school, who doesn’t want people to know he is gay as well. Keeping the affair a secret is very painful for Patrick and he feels like his boyfriend is ashamed of who he is and of their love story. It is hard to watch him realising what he has with Brad is not healthy and that he needs to move on.
I think the most important message the movie delivers is that we need to learn how valuable and worthy of love we are. It is easy to love people who are not good for us, but we need to find the strength to distance ourselves from them and look for the ones that will treat us right. If you are stuck in a toxic relationship in your life and you feel mistreated, you should know you deserve better and you need to love yourself enough to end that bond!
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
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